Tina Knowles on Raising Beyoncé and Solange
Klaudia//April 28, 2025
Ms. Tina Knowles is the definition of living your ancestors’ wildest dreams. In her memoir, Matriarch, she tells the triumphant story of how she, the great-granddaughter of two enslaved women, went from what she describes as a little, two-bedroom “poor house” with seven people in Galveston, Texas, to being the head of one of the most successful and high-profile families in the world.
At over 400 pages, her book spares few details. Ms. Tina writes candidly about her family’s journey, sharing the good—from opening her own hair salon, to seeing her granddaughter dance on stage last summer; to the bad—her breast cancer diagnosis last year, infidelity, divorces, young Beyoncé being bullied at school (!), teenaged Solange struggling with her mental health; and the ugly—the racism every generation of her family, including herself and her daughters, experienced.
In the acknowledgements, she thanks her foremothers and her daughters, who she says not only allowed her to share these stories, but encouraged it. She also thanks all of her past selves who have brought her to where she is today: “Celestine Ann, Badass Tenie B, Lucy, Tina Beyoncé from Galveston, Almost-Grown Tina in L.A., Mrs. Knowles, Headliners Tina from Houston, Mrs. Knowles-Lawson, Mama Tina, and now, finally, Ms. Tina,” she writes. “I’m grateful for every single version of me.”
Below, Ms. Tina talks about her legacy, stage moms, and the lessons she’s learned from her daughters.
Why did you want to share your story?
I’ve been asked for many years to write a book, and I had started writing a book about 10 years before, but not for publication, just for my family. Just so that my grandkids would have a record of their grandparent, for future generations. I recorded it on my phone. And so when I started writing it, I was able to go back and listen to some of the stories.
It didn’t start off as a memoir. I was going to write a book about the behind the scenes. Because I do these things on my Instagram, where I talk about the backstory of an outfit I made for the girls, and people really respond to it. So that’s what this started off as. But when I went back and pulled out that phone, and started letting the guy who helped me with the book put it all together, he was blown away. And he was like, “No, you have to do a memoir.”
How did you decide what to share and what to keep private?
I didn’t expect to share as much as I did, but when you start writing, it just comes out. That book was originally a thousand pages. They said, “Ms. Tina, this is the longest book in history—you’ve got to cut it down.” So I had to take out such great stories; it broke my heart.
You write in the acknowledgments that your daughters encouraged you to share your story. Tell me about that conversation.
They encouraged me to be my authentic self and not to be so worried about protecting everyone. It was my story to tell, and they trusted that I would not impede on anybody else’s privacy or whatever. They trusted me, which meant a lot. They’re very, very private.
You’ve built a legacy that extends from the hair salon to fashion runways. When did you first realize that your creativity had the power to shape the culture?
With Destiny’s Child, I was doing their hair, and I talked Kelly into letting me cut her hair off, which was a big deal. It wasn’t easy, but I said, “Let’s give you a really short haircut because nobody’s really doing that, and I think that it would be great.” So she did it, and it’s like the next day, everywhere you went, all these girls had her haircut. And I was like, oh my God. Then, people had the girls’ hair colors; one of them had red hair and Beyoncé had these light highlights in her hair. Then I started seeing those styles everywhere.
With the clothes that I made for them, people would copy the costumes, or we would see the runways and they would have a garment with a similar sleeve on it or cutouts—that type of thing. It was mind-boggling, but it began pretty early on when they were young, like 18.
Of all the amazing costumes you made, do you have a favorite?
I have a couple favorites. There were some corsets that I loved. It was my first time making them, and I worked with a corset maker to make these black leather ones. They were covered in rhinestones, and I loved them because I remember how much work was put into it.
Then, there was a dress that I did for Beyoncé for a Pink Panther premiere. It was pink, and I remember that they mistook it for a Givenchy dress. That was the biggest compliment in the world to me, because I had a lot of people give me a really hard time about designing things. Sometimes they were fair because some of that stuff was crazy, and sometimes it was very unfair, but they thought that dress was Givenchy. And yeah, that’s definitely one of my favorites.
You’ve said that you can’t protect your kids from the world, you can only prepare them. How did that shape your parenting style?
You have to prepare them for life by making them as confident as you can. When they’re younger, you have to truly protect them and make them first priority. I think the most important thing with raising kids is for them to feel like they come first. But that’s all you can do, is try to prepare them because you can’t always be everywhere they are. You can’t follow them to school.
You also write about your grandchildren and about how Blue wanted to dance on tour. I’d love to hear more about the decision to let Blue go out there.
Well, it wasn’t my decision. It was her mom’s decision. But I encouraged it because my girls were allowed to express themselves creatively in any way they chose to. If they wanted to perform, then they got to perform. I tried to encourage everything that they wanted to do—every dream that they had. So my personal two cents was, I hope you let her do it. Her mother, being protective of her, thought she was too young. She was like, “This is a heavy thing. It’s 70,000 people out there sometimes, so that’s a big deal for you to get in front of those people.” And so her response came from a place of protection, and mine came from a place of, “Well, I would have let you do it.” And I remember saying that. But it wasn’t my business, it was her mom’s business. I just kind of helped the conversation along a bit.
When you were raising your daughters, did you always see this life for them, or was there a moment where you said, wow, this could really happen?
From a very early age, I saw the talent in my girls. They were different. They were so focused. That’s all they did. Well, not Solange as much. She always danced and sang and wrote songs—she started writing songs when she was like, seven—so I saw the talent and the drive. But the difference between the two is that Beyoncé—I just think nothing else mattered as much to her. She always was into music and dancing.
Solange, on the other hand, was very popular in school, and always doing all kind of activities and was so well-rounded, that I actually tried to talk her out of being an entertainer. With Beyoncé, I don’t think ever had a choice. I think that she was just born to do this—it was like breathing to her. But with Solange, she just had so many options. So I was always saying, “Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to make this kind of sacrifice? You could go be anything and do anything you want. Don’t do this.” But this is what she wanted, so we didn’t have a choice but to support her.
But the moment I knew [Destiny’s Child] was going to really be big was when “No, No, No” came out. The response to them at 15, 16, and 17 years old, was unbelievable. Instantly. So I really knew then. Did I have any idea it would get to this magnitude? Absolutely not. But I knew that they would be successful.
Since you’ve always been very involved in your daughter’s careers, how do you feel about the stage mom stereotype? Do you consider yourself one?
Never. I know that I’m not. I’ve been accused of it many, many times, but in my mind and in my opinion, absolutely not. I don’t know what constitutes a stage mother. When you are trying to protect your child, you’re trying to be involved in what they’re doing, because it’s a very scary place.
When they got a record deal, imagine that Beyoncé and Kelly were 15 and 16 years old. I was terrified of the music business. I did their hair so that I could be with them all the time. It was mostly about protection, and also because I felt like I could contribute something to them being successful. I knew that I was a good hairstylist; I knew that I was a good stylist, even before I got the title of stylist, [I knew] that I could fight for them, and I could protect them, and I could inspire them. I felt like I was an asset to them. So if that’s being a stage mother, then, oh well. But I don’t consider myself as a person who is living vicariously through my children.
I worked behind the scenes, and I did a lot, a lot that I got credit for, and a lot I didn’t get credit for. But I don’t ever see myself as being a stage mother. Some might disagree with me, but in my opinion, no. I’ve seen stage mothers and I’m not one of them.
You write about your foremothers and their strength and perseverance. What’s something they passed down to you that guides you today?
Family first, for sure. It’s interesting, when you read the book, I’m sure you saw that both of my great-grandmothers were enslaved, but they managed to keep their families together. I just thought that was so remarkable. One of the best things that came out of my book research was learning that they got to keep their kids with them in a time when people were taken from their kids all the time and separated. So the lesson that’s passed down from my ancestors is that the family has to stay together; the family has to stick together to be strong.
It sounds corny and cliché, but if everything was taken from me, I promise you, if I still have my family, I will be good. I know that from my innermost parts, that as long as I have my family, then we could go through anything. We could lose everything, and we’d be okay. I’ve lost everything before, but I was fine because I had my family. And I taught my kids that. All of this sounds like something you get out of a quote book, but it’s really the way that I try to live my life.
You also write about how mothers can learn from their children too. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
Beyoncé taught me how to take a compliment, which I still struggle with, as some women do. When people say, “Oh you look so pretty today.” I would say, “Oh, I didn’t have time to do my hair.” “Oh, this is old.” I’ve always discounted it. So I’ve learned to just say thank you and accept it and revel in it.
Solange has taught me not to care so much about what everybody thinks. I would be so polite sometimes, but Solange taught me to speak up for myself and to not worry about so much about how other people are going to perceive it.
And Kelly, what she taught me is patience. I’m not that patient, but she is the most patient person I know. She will wait and wait and not rush anything. You can’t rush her.
At over 400 pages, her book spares few details. Ms. Tina writes candidly about her family’s journey, sharing the good—from opening her own hair salon, to seeing her granddaughter dance on stage last summer; to the bad—her breast cancer diagnosis last year, infidelity, divorces, young Beyoncé being bullied at school (!), teenaged Solange struggling with her mental health; and the ugly—the racism every generation of her family, including herself and her daughters, experienced.
In the acknowledgements, she thanks her foremothers and her daughters, who she says not only allowed her to share these stories, but encouraged it. She also thanks all of her past selves who have brought her to where she is today: “Celestine Ann, Badass Tenie B, Lucy, Tina Beyoncé from Galveston, Almost-Grown Tina in L.A., Mrs. Knowles, Headliners Tina from Houston, Mrs. Knowles-Lawson, Mama Tina, and now, finally, Ms. Tina,” she writes. “I’m grateful for every single version of me.”
Below, Ms. Tina talks about her legacy, stage moms, and the lessons she’s learned from her daughters.
Why did you want to share your story?
I’ve been asked for many years to write a book, and I had started writing a book about 10 years before, but not for publication, just for my family. Just so that my grandkids would have a record of their grandparent, for future generations. I recorded it on my phone. And so when I started writing it, I was able to go back and listen to some of the stories.
It didn’t start off as a memoir. I was going to write a book about the behind the scenes. Because I do these things on my Instagram, where I talk about the backstory of an outfit I made for the girls, and people really respond to it. So that’s what this started off as. But when I went back and pulled out that phone, and started letting the guy who helped me with the book put it all together, he was blown away. And he was like, “No, you have to do a memoir.”
How did you decide what to share and what to keep private?
I didn’t expect to share as much as I did, but when you start writing, it just comes out. That book was originally a thousand pages. They said, “Ms. Tina, this is the longest book in history—you’ve got to cut it down.” So I had to take out such great stories; it broke my heart.
You write in the acknowledgments that your daughters encouraged you to share your story. Tell me about that conversation.
They encouraged me to be my authentic self and not to be so worried about protecting everyone. It was my story to tell, and they trusted that I would not impede on anybody else’s privacy or whatever. They trusted me, which meant a lot. They’re very, very private.
You’ve built a legacy that extends from the hair salon to fashion runways. When did you first realize that your creativity had the power to shape the culture?
With Destiny’s Child, I was doing their hair, and I talked Kelly into letting me cut her hair off, which was a big deal. It wasn’t easy, but I said, “Let’s give you a really short haircut because nobody’s really doing that, and I think that it would be great.” So she did it, and it’s like the next day, everywhere you went, all these girls had her haircut. And I was like, oh my God. Then, people had the girls’ hair colors; one of them had red hair and Beyoncé had these light highlights in her hair. Then I started seeing those styles everywhere.
With the clothes that I made for them, people would copy the costumes, or we would see the runways and they would have a garment with a similar sleeve on it or cutouts—that type of thing. It was mind-boggling, but it began pretty early on when they were young, like 18.
Of all the amazing costumes you made, do you have a favorite?
I have a couple favorites. There were some corsets that I loved. It was my first time making them, and I worked with a corset maker to make these black leather ones. They were covered in rhinestones, and I loved them because I remember how much work was put into it.
Then, there was a dress that I did for Beyoncé for a Pink Panther premiere. It was pink, and I remember that they mistook it for a Givenchy dress. That was the biggest compliment in the world to me, because I had a lot of people give me a really hard time about designing things. Sometimes they were fair because some of that stuff was crazy, and sometimes it was very unfair, but they thought that dress was Givenchy. And yeah, that’s definitely one of my favorites.
You’ve said that you can’t protect your kids from the world, you can only prepare them. How did that shape your parenting style?
You have to prepare them for life by making them as confident as you can. When they’re younger, you have to truly protect them and make them first priority. I think the most important thing with raising kids is for them to feel like they come first. But that’s all you can do, is try to prepare them because you can’t always be everywhere they are. You can’t follow them to school.
You also write about your grandchildren and about how Blue wanted to dance on tour. I’d love to hear more about the decision to let Blue go out there.
Well, it wasn’t my decision. It was her mom’s decision. But I encouraged it because my girls were allowed to express themselves creatively in any way they chose to. If they wanted to perform, then they got to perform. I tried to encourage everything that they wanted to do—every dream that they had. So my personal two cents was, I hope you let her do it. Her mother, being protective of her, thought she was too young. She was like, “This is a heavy thing. It’s 70,000 people out there sometimes, so that’s a big deal for you to get in front of those people.” And so her response came from a place of protection, and mine came from a place of, “Well, I would have let you do it.” And I remember saying that. But it wasn’t my business, it was her mom’s business. I just kind of helped the conversation along a bit.
When you were raising your daughters, did you always see this life for them, or was there a moment where you said, wow, this could really happen?
From a very early age, I saw the talent in my girls. They were different. They were so focused. That’s all they did. Well, not Solange as much. She always danced and sang and wrote songs—she started writing songs when she was like, seven—so I saw the talent and the drive. But the difference between the two is that Beyoncé—I just think nothing else mattered as much to her. She always was into music and dancing.
Solange, on the other hand, was very popular in school, and always doing all kind of activities and was so well-rounded, that I actually tried to talk her out of being an entertainer. With Beyoncé, I don’t think ever had a choice. I think that she was just born to do this—it was like breathing to her. But with Solange, she just had so many options. So I was always saying, “Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to make this kind of sacrifice? You could go be anything and do anything you want. Don’t do this.” But this is what she wanted, so we didn’t have a choice but to support her.
But the moment I knew [Destiny’s Child] was going to really be big was when “No, No, No” came out. The response to them at 15, 16, and 17 years old, was unbelievable. Instantly. So I really knew then. Did I have any idea it would get to this magnitude? Absolutely not. But I knew that they would be successful.
Since you’ve always been very involved in your daughter’s careers, how do you feel about the stage mom stereotype? Do you consider yourself one?
Never. I know that I’m not. I’ve been accused of it many, many times, but in my mind and in my opinion, absolutely not. I don’t know what constitutes a stage mother. When you are trying to protect your child, you’re trying to be involved in what they’re doing, because it’s a very scary place.
When they got a record deal, imagine that Beyoncé and Kelly were 15 and 16 years old. I was terrified of the music business. I did their hair so that I could be with them all the time. It was mostly about protection, and also because I felt like I could contribute something to them being successful. I knew that I was a good hairstylist; I knew that I was a good stylist, even before I got the title of stylist, [I knew] that I could fight for them, and I could protect them, and I could inspire them. I felt like I was an asset to them. So if that’s being a stage mother, then, oh well. But I don’t consider myself as a person who is living vicariously through my children.
I worked behind the scenes, and I did a lot, a lot that I got credit for, and a lot I didn’t get credit for. But I don’t ever see myself as being a stage mother. Some might disagree with me, but in my opinion, no. I’ve seen stage mothers and I’m not one of them.
You write about your foremothers and their strength and perseverance. What’s something they passed down to you that guides you today?
Family first, for sure. It’s interesting, when you read the book, I’m sure you saw that both of my great-grandmothers were enslaved, but they managed to keep their families together. I just thought that was so remarkable. One of the best things that came out of my book research was learning that they got to keep their kids with them in a time when people were taken from their kids all the time and separated. So the lesson that’s passed down from my ancestors is that the family has to stay together; the family has to stick together to be strong.
It sounds corny and cliché, but if everything was taken from me, I promise you, if I still have my family, I will be good. I know that from my innermost parts, that as long as I have my family, then we could go through anything. We could lose everything, and we’d be okay. I’ve lost everything before, but I was fine because I had my family. And I taught my kids that. All of this sounds like something you get out of a quote book, but it’s really the way that I try to live my life.
You also write about how mothers can learn from their children too. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
Beyoncé taught me how to take a compliment, which I still struggle with, as some women do. When people say, “Oh you look so pretty today.” I would say, “Oh, I didn’t have time to do my hair.” “Oh, this is old.” I’ve always discounted it. So I’ve learned to just say thank you and accept it and revel in it.
Solange has taught me not to care so much about what everybody thinks. I would be so polite sometimes, but Solange taught me to speak up for myself and to not worry about so much about how other people are going to perceive it.
And Kelly, what she taught me is patience. I’m not that patient, but she is the most patient person I know. She will wait and wait and not rush anything. You can’t rush her.